How to heal your heart after a Break Up.

Break Ups.

They are never easy, but they happen and usually for a reason. It's near enough impossible to see that reason at the time. I know. It feels hopeless and like your world has crashed down.
 Everything feels so wrong.
So fucking shit. 

 But I promise there is always light after darkness. 

And if your reading this because you are going through a break up right now, or have been through one recently, or maybe you are still hurting from one.

My wish is that you get through this, with the inner strength and bravery I know you hold. Within yourself you have so much light to shine through this dark patch. 

Stars can't shine without darkness and arrows have to get pulled back in order for them to propel forwards.

Remember that. When you feel like you're at your lowest, it's because you are preparing to grow and move to a higher happier lighter place. 

I still think of a certain person I was with. It was someone I loved with all of me. I held nothing back. It was passionate crazy love. 
But it wasn't reciprocated. It killed me at the time. That feeling of not being good enough, no matter what you do. But you endlessly try to win them over desperate for their love. 

But baby girl STOP. STOP RIGHT NOW! 

You are enough. You are whole and everything - exactly as you are right now. 

If someone can't see that, you don't need them in your life. End of! 

You deserve someone who loves you equally, just as much as you love them. 


The best advice I can give to you is to focus on loving yourself. 


Find yourself. 

I understand this isn't a fast process either. It takes time. 

It's taken me years to finally love myself and accept myself fully. 

But once you start working on you, your goals, your happiness, I promise you everything will fall into place.

Whether it might be, reading, exercising, eating healthy foods, drawing, shopping, going out with your friends, watching Netflix, swimming or literally anything to make you smile. Whatever it is you enjoy, whatever makes you happy, focus on that. 

If there is a career path you want to strive towards, a job you have always aspired to have. Go for it! 

You have the power to make this life whatever you want it to be. 
If you can visualise yourself doing that job, living in a certain place then you CAN do it! 

I believe in you! 

Once you start focusing on your happiness then relationships stop taking a forefront in your life. 
They become a bonus, something to add to an already great life. Rather than a necessity.

 

A lot of people stay in unhappy relationships for too long (I sure have!) because they are scared to be alone.

They are scared of the break up. Change is daunting. But we have this ONE short life.
Don't waste one second being unsure or unhappy.

Live it for you! Never ever settle or put anything before happiness. 


I used to feel like my little heart couldn't cope with anymore heartbreaks, I felt fragile. But focusing on my happiness made me more open.

I've been cheaten on, lied to, caught up in games, hurt a lot both emotionally and physically by past relationships but I have grown from every single one. And the only time I look back is to see how far I have come.

I'm at a good place in my life right now, (it takes time), and I don't just want anyone.

I found so much strength and clarity recently, I'm not afraid of heartbreaks anymore. I'm not scared of loving without reciprocation. 
My heart is full and that makes me happy. 
I'm open to give love without the need of receiving it. 

And that's the most freeing part. 

Love without expecting it in return.


I know you have got this. Keep going and before you know it you will find your happiness again. In the mean time focus on you.

You have got this. 

Love you always,

Ally ❤






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